Drunk girls do silly things.... 

Drunk Dials

I a m drunk, and I'm okay with it. We went to the Cardinals game today, we being me, shannon, eli, and Krissy. It was funtimes. We smuggled in margaritas in mountain dew bottles. We went to Al Rabosky's after the game and met up with Krissy's b-f. I was in a terrible mood because my face looks like a 15 year old goin thru puberty...apparently I'm having an allergic reaction to one of the meds they put me on or I'm allergic to the sun...either way I'm pissed. Everyone is excited for the wedding this weekend bc they are bringing their respective other halves introducing them to the "group". I suppose I should have an other half, but I have no other half,however, I am apparently I am one of the friends who has to judge the b-f's of the other chicas and say whether or not "we" approve. We attempted to meet up with the mad dentist and his roomies tonite, but that didnt work out.....I'm annoyed and tired.

Brian Bengston... my pseudo-brother and the man with no feeling in his left ring finger, confidently states "I have no regrets. I said the bottom would fall out of the beer bottle and it did.... I just happened to have lost some hand function and innervation in the process, but I proved my point!"

Boys will be boys

There is a reason why mothers are apprehensive when it comes to their sons playing with things that contain the word fire...fire, firearms, firecrackers. Brian and Michael were conducting various, we'll call them experiments, with waterproof dynamite firecrackers. Brian was curious as to what throwing the firetoys into their homeade lake would do. As any mature older brother would do, Brian discouraged Michael from throwing the firecrackers in the lake, only to 5 mins later, thrown the dynamite in the lake himself. Brian seemed surprised yet amused when the giant goldfish keeled and decided not to tell his dad just yet he had commited "accidental" fishslaughter. Following in his big bro's footsteps, Michael was curious as to how the dynamite would effect the indoor plumbing. In order to conduct this much needed research, he decided to light one up and put it in the toilet. Luckily, Michael did not decide to flush the toilet thereby limiting the damage to a giant hole in the bottom of the toilet basin and a disappearance of all water. Intelligently, Brian decided he should turn off the water valve to the toilet, cause no one really knew where this water was going. Michael went to his room, gathering all of his money from his summer job and went in to tell Mr. Bengston what had happened. Brian ran up to Shannon's room where we all listened with the door cracked for yelling. To our surprise all we heard was laughter, followed by "well you're gonna have to pay for a new toilet, and help me install it!" That's it, not fair, not fair at all. It's ridiculous how much the younger siblings get away with. All Mrs. Bengston could say was "you're so stupid, that's just stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid." The boys decided to write a list of other fun little stunts that they had performed that had resulted in some sort of property or body damage. At the top of Brian's list was the hitting of the glass beer bottle, while sober mind you, that led to permanent ulnar nerve damage, muscle atrophy, tendon dysfunction, and extensive hand therapy. Michael's list of deeds was puny in comparison to Brian's but as Michael pointed out he does have 5 year start on him.......silly Bengston Boys. ONLY THREE MORE DAYS OF GRAD SCHOOL CLASSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!.......oh and I love that the mysterious blueberry/heat rash has returned to my face...I feel pretty!

And Let the Weddings Begin...

The summer wedding season was kicked off on Saturday with the celebration of the union of Chris Cox and Amanda Salisbury...you should hear Amanda giggle when she says "my name is amanda COOOXXXX...heheh". Gotta love Nanas. The wedding ceremony was small and intimate and is to date, the only wedding ceremony that brought me to tears....I had no kleenex, I was ill prepared. I believe the top two cute moments of the ceremony was Amanda's nudging of Chris during his vows, giving him the "are you listening look", followed by the numerous forehead/cheek/mouth kisses Chris showered onto Amanda after the anouncement to kiss his new bride. At this moment all of us girls gave each other the look and thought of our respective fake husbands to be. I feel no need to define the look nor our respective fake husbands as we girls already know what all this means.
The big shocker came at the reception. It was at this beautiful bed and breakfast and they served us appetizers immediately. We were all looking around for the liquor when rumor came round that it was a dry reception. The HORROR!!! I cannot survive most wedding ceremonies without liquid courage. Courtney E. immediately suggests we sneak out to spike our lemonades. Mr. Murphy agreed with this till Mrs. Murphy gave him the look of death. We decided to make the best of it and survive the celebration on a sugar high...we were downing pink lemonades and sweetened iced teas like it was our job. Post-dinner the cappucino bar opened and I had 5, count em five varying cappo's.,.Krissy was right behind with 4! The showed an amazing slide show made by Chris' best-friend Blake. It had us SLU girls in our sports bra-BILLIKEN painted attire...silly drunk 7G-ers!
So all hyped up on caffeine and sugar we started the dance party. The dj sucked for the first 1.5, not gonna lie. He played every cliche wedding song...YMCA, Macarena, Quad City Dj's train song, Electric Slide, that other Slide...it was torture but we did em all. Eventually the dj starting playing better music...Nelly, lots of Nelly and that one about sweat dripping down the balls....so obviously the reception was interesting but oddly fun. We were pretending to be ballerinas and we used Eli as a pole. Court and Shan were lifting and spinning me in the air, Rita and I were doing boob presses...which actually was a bad idea and quite painful...dont try that at home.
The night ended/began at a local bar. All of the wedding party was there. Ashley and Nicollete cut-off the bottoms of their gorgeous bridesmaids dresses, in the back of the bar. I have never seen more ppl throwing back shots and downing drinks in such a short time period. Three shots and three drinks later we left the bar. Rita and Court peed in an alley, Krissy made me smile, Shan didnt make out as predicted, and Eli fell asleep standing up.

The Bengstons 

The Bengstons

So I made dinner for the Bengstons tonite (and did my laundry of course). And I must say that Dad Bengston was impressed with my culinary skills (gotta love Beef Pepper Steak)! He made a funny comment that one often hears after making a good meal "Amber you're gonna make one lucky man real happy one day if you keep cooking like this!" Then Shannon verbalized what I was thinking..."Why does she have to be making a man happy dad? Why not say Amber will continue to make her friends very happy in the future because she cooks so well?"...her mother threw in a good save of "Well Shannon, obviously she is doing that already."....good job Mamma Bengston.
Oh well whatever, whoever I make happy with the cooking I just love doing it. And since I cannot run yet to relieve stress cooking is my only available savior!!!...oh and as Shannon just pointed out drinking.....

The Dad and the Kid Sister, Jalen. 

Student Loans

I hate talking to my dad about money cause he has it and I don't...sorta.
I decided to consolidate my student loans recently and with the help of Mr. Bengston, I'm 90% successful so far. I decided to inform my dad of my plans, which inevitably led to the, "so how much do you have out in student loans" conversation, a conversation which I have been avoiding since Spain. When he heard the number $64,014 I think he actually stopped breathing for a second. Apparently, my dad was under the impression that I was on a full-ride, not a half-ride, scholarship and that I had only been taking out student loans for my grad school....
So after he calculated my estimate income, expenses (including shoes and sushi), possible new car payment, retirement fund money etc...I ended up with a huge headache. Luckily, Shannon had a similar conversation with her dad today so we were both equally spazed-out. My dad was like, "Amber, If you live frugally for 2 years and pay about $900 a month on your student loans you can have them paid off in 3 year!" There are so many things wrong with that sentence that I'm not even gonna go into. STRESS
So the ADPi girls got drank wine, ate food, and caught up in the Botanical Gardens tonite then the Tres Amigos went to Barcelona to end the night correctly. We decided to go to Barcelona on a semi-regular (non-alcoholic) basis and only speak Spanish! p.s. their Sangre de Toro y Margarita de Espana es fantastico!
Oh and Cathy wants to set Shannon and I up with her boyfriend's friends :-O, ....set-ups never work.
I have a blister on my dorsal-ankle...stupid taping and stress fractures!

A pictoral reminder not to date crazy Marines...

Even Bad Days Have a Silver Lining

I had a dream about Nate last night. We had just broken up and within the same day he had retrieved himself a new galpal, named Jessica. She was a Marine who was beautiful only when out of her Marine gear, however when in front of Nate's friends and family she was always all geared-up so she appeared to be this fat cow. Nate's family criticized him for such a poor choice in a girlfriend. Somehow I end up at his house and I harass the girl asking when they started dating because I was certain he had cheated on me up until the end. To my shock and surprise he had not cheated on me with her and then I dont really remember what happened, but he ended up with a ugly-fattie Jekyl and Hyde type named Jessica.
So I obviously woke up disturbed because Nate is disturbing but I tried to brush it off because I had actually gotten adequate amount of sleep and if I kept at the pace I was going I wouldnt be late for class, obviously a rare occurence.
I get to my car and notice that the passenger door is a bit ajar and that upon inspection papers are strewn all about the vehicle. I start freaking out and checking everything and nothing really seemed to be missing. Apparently the gangstas I rejected yesterday came back for revenge but were not interested in my AnchorMan soundtrack or burned copy of Andrea Bocelli. I could not figure out how the hell they got into my car. No broken windows, no picked locks...I was stunned and curious.
Of course I get to class late now, with a legitimate excuse...shocker...I mouth to Shannon "my car got broken-in to!"
I later tell her about my wierd dream and she immediately said what I had been thinking all morning..."Do you think Nate is sending people to fuck with your car?"
I said, "It's a definate possibility, the thought has crossed my mind."
Then she asks the best question ever, "If Nate had gotten a new-girlfriend, would it bother you."
Without even having to think, I immediatley answered, "OMG no. I couldnt care less. I hope he gets a new girlfriend soon, get married and gets off my back!"....and I actually meant it.
Being able to say this honestly, extremely certain that I meant it with every fiber of my being, was the most refreshing experience, a step in the right direction....so there's my silver lining.

Gotta Love a Gangsta

So I hate Saint Louis and the feeling gets worse and worse each day. In the last week I have received 3, count em 3, $25 parking tickets. Two I suppose were deserved as I completely ignored and scoffed at the no parking signs, but the other was in no way my fault. I parked behind Laclede's in this rocky, crappy lot so that we could take a shuttle to the Cards-Yankee's game. Upon returning to my car several hours later I find the ticket, cited violation of "parking on unimproved land". What the hell does that even mean and how is that a violation of a city ordinance. If I want to park on a bed of nails I see no reason for the city to punish me for it, that's my stupid move and besides there were no "no parking" signs near the area. I decided to contest the ticket so I treck downtown today and had a little adventure. The woman was very nice said they were going to do a sign investigation, sounds real official but I doubt it, this is the StL we are talking about. So the fun begins when she asks to see my drivers license, which has the address of my ex-stepdad. She said they will mail some letter there telling me if the ticket will be thrown out. "Is this the address your car is registered to?"
"Um, no." I reply. "That would be my grandparent's address in Alton."
"Is the car registered to your grandparents?"
"Um, no." "My dad, he's in Penn."
"Do you think it would be alright with your dad if his mail is going to your ex-step dad's house."
"I think it will be fine. Everybody likes everybody. It just sounds a bit messy when I have to discuss the odd relationships."
The woman kindly nods and I'm like holy hell that was more complicated than necessary.
So I'm heading back to my car and I hear, "Hey you lady are you going to (something jarbled sounding) ?"
"No, I'm not sorry!"
"Well can I talk to you for a minute?"
I just give a dirty look and roll my eyes unlocking and quickly getting into my car.
I should add just so you are getting a good picture what this young man, if you could even call him that, looks like.....pants off the ass, xtra-long t-shirt, single gold tooth replacing his lateral incisor, white baseball cap turned sideways, and tennis shoes that I think may have been either a size to big or in need of a better tie-job....so you got this gangsta in your head
He is now approaching the car now saying, "Hey baby, you're looking fine, can I just talk to you for a minute."
As luck would have it there's fucking red light and I can not really move any farther...so instead I shake my head and laugh as if to say you wish, praying the light would just turn green.
There's always a 3 second brain delay when things like this happen to me. It's like my head is going surely not, man this guy's got some cajones, just keep walking and they'll go away. They never go away. I think these gangsta guys actually believe they are pimps and that standing on a corner yelling at girls will get them some. On the other-hand chicas, dont you just wish that the guys you do want to come up to you in the local bars, at work, or at school or wherever, would get some cajones. Don't just look at a cute girl across from the bar and hope that in her catching you looking at her that she will come up to you. We like you normal good guys to come up to us and say hey...maybe leave out the "hey baby, you're looking fine" but just say "Hi, I think you're kinda cute, what's your name". You don't know how cute we find it!

Las Borrachas

When will being ridiculously intoxicated with your friends no longer be fun. I always thought that once you became a grown-up (i.e had a paying job and no longer lived with the rents etc...) that the minutia of shot-taking, bar-hopping, googling boys, and puking your brains out would no longer be appealing. However the actions of myself y mis amigas on Friday night, throw this theory right out the window. The night started out relatively sanely. We decided to have a girl's night out and started the celebration with a make-over of the (presently only) grown-up Amiga, Elizabeth. Hair dyeing, hair cutting, fun make-up, sexy clothes, 3-shot Margaritas we were ready for funtimes. Upon our departure Eli's sis offers to drive us, so Shannon suggests shots...just so you are up to speed with the number of shots consumed up to this point...we have eached downed two of our famous Margaritas....so Shot Time! We take down one drinking to our fabulous makeover. We take down the other to pretty single girls and our last summer together in the same city. Now I remember getting to McGurks and I remember the tequila shot we shared within 5 min of our arrival. What I dont remember is when exactly I started puking between the two metal benches, causing not only residual abdominal pain and that raw throat sensation but also a bruise on my forehead from resting it for an hour on a metal bench. Luckily, Fischer (my fake and emergency-if i'm not married by the time i'm 30- husband) rubbed my back and hair offering me water that I apparently refused, for the entire hour. So my shot count being up to 9 and my counterparts shot count being up to 11 made the rest of the evening an adventure. The girls had started talking to some boys who wanted to go to Buca...I obviously being in no condition to go, would need to be dropped off at home...the girls mentioned this fact to their new found friends and the 3 chicos said no problem, we'll drop her off. I don't remember leaving the bar and vaguely remember getting in the Cheerokee. Somehow we ended up on highway 70, no where near where we needed to be. We had all passed out in the car. Shannon awoke when the boys had pulled into a gas station. She decided that she just needed to focus in order to ensure our safety home. Thank God these boys were actually nice guys. We made it home losing not only our dignity but also Shannon's car keys & $40 gift card to Sephora and my favorite Arden B. hat. The girls, no doubt out of kindness, decided to join in on the puking rally the following day. That's friendship!

Memorial Day at the lake in Bon Terre...with a dry swimming suit...I think this pretty much sums me up! 

The Three Amigas!

Shannon, Elizabeth and I. At Voodoo in St. Charles acting as groupies to the band Glorious Blue. One of our many girl's nights out. This trio of beautiful chicas will be referred to in blogs as Las Tres Amigas!

No Idea What I'm Doing

So I was convinced by a mad dentist to set this thing up......this is a bad idea.