Welcome to the Jungle

I love Wrigleyville for starters and drunk boys make me laugh for uh seconders...
I ended up hanging out with Rigler, Barry, and 2 of Rigler's friends from Madison at Tryst on Clark. By the time I made it to the bar, the two friends- Matt "Rusty" and Masood were rather drunk. Rusty tried to convince me that he could in fact dance and that I was "scared to dance with a white guy"...he obviously does not know very much about be....so we danced...well, actually he danced while I laughed hysterically...same difference. He then decided that he needed to buy me another drink, but I was obviously not drunk enough to appreciate his dancing. As luck would have it a black chick was at the bar as we went up to get my drink and Rusty said "hey would you say white guys dance better in comparison?"...to which she replied, "In comparison to what?".."In comparison to black guys?"..."Ummm, No, black guys dance better."...to which Rusty, obviously hammered, replies.."See that's what I'm saying Amber, you just have to give us white guys a chance."

Round two- Masood.

Masood was on the prowl. While in the cab he says and I quote "Amber what exactly would I have say, hypothetically, if I wanted to make out with you tonite." To which I said, "Um..it's not going to happen, so I guess you can say whatever you want."...this only egged him on more..."Okay what if I ignore you for a couple of hours, so you'll want me more, and then we'll have lot of crazy sex everywhere...do you mind handcuffa?"...at this point in time the cabbie is trying to hold back his laughter, I am laughing so hard I'm almost in tears, and Masood is just looking eagerly for an answer to this insane question..."I don't really see that happening Masood."...

He did not give up here, oh no, it get's better..."Amber you're going to have to take a different cab because I can't stop looking at you, it's killing me...seriously have to touch you...can I touch your abs?"...What? Who says this and subsequently reaches for your abs?...Then he whispers, "Seriously Amber you have an awesome body, like for real, it's the kinda body I just...I shouldn't say it.."..."Well then don't!"...he goes on, but I'll spare the details...needless to say, the boys of Chicago seemed to have stepped it up a notch since the last time I paid any attention. "What if we just make out a little tonite and then when I come back in a month...to be continued, ya know what I'm saying?"...I laughed alot tonite! Oh and he kept telling everyone at Janitzios (my favorite burrito place) that I was his gf.."Have you met my girlfriend Amber, isn't she hot, we are getting married, look at her abs."

Masood and Rusty will be moving here with another buddy in a month. Masood proposed marriage, drunk guys seem to be doing that alot to me lately...and said I have to meet his parents, that our wedding would be in a chapel with a lot of brown people, but not "pastey people like Rusty", and that the wedding would be followed by a lot of sex..again he mentioned handcuffs..he may have some issues.

Oh well, good self-esteem booster, who wouldn't be slightly impressed by two friends taking turns hitting on you...admit it!

Put on a Happy Face...The Red Ivy 

I Danced Like No One Was Watching

Generally my reaction to stressful events is to, in no particular order, get angry, cry, get drunk, shop excessively, lounge in pajamas for days, lose my apetite, suffer from insomnia, making out with a few randoms, cry again, and then give up.
I was proud of myself for not getting drunk and making out with a random boy at the Cubby Bear last night. I sucked it up had a few drinks and sang and danced. Any time I wanted to burst into tears I just sang louder and danced more. I was further proud of myself for deciding that my 2am shower was the final time I was going to cry about this current situation (so far pretty good). Those of importance already know what the current situation is and therefore it does not need to be defined.
I did not stay in bed all day and curl into a ball a crying, hyperventilating, food deprived mess. I got up, though I did not want to, and I got dressed and although I did shop excessively and eat gelato (it is unreasonable to think that one could control all of their primary stress reactions) I did not cry, though I wanted to for 90% of the day.
I talked to my step-mom and my roommate and my dad and tried to make some decisions about what to do next....all parties involved gave the same advice, advice which I didn't want to hear but I figured I obviously don't know what the hell i'm doing so might as well get some help.
I hate feeling like this, i'm tired of feeling like this but i'm also quite helpless as to what to do next which is such a ridiculous place for me to be. I used to be quite the strong girl, but I think that I must have allowed myself to be taken advantaged of one too many times in the past and what is left is this pathetic thing that I have become. I don't want to become one of those bitter girls that says I hate love and fuck boys blah blah blah but I can currently understand the thought process. I just don't know where I went, but I hope I return soon I don't think my liver can take much more.
It also appears that I will not be able to avoid the insomnia portion of the evening.
I don't even know what I'm saying anymore, but anything is better than staring at the walls in my room and I don't think a walk would be a safe idea. I know it's not the end of the world...I'm just saying that right now it feels like it. And it is quite easy to say "just be happy" it is quite another thing to pull it off.
So I looked up some "inspirational quotes" which I don't currently find inspirational but that's only cause I'm a bitter sad and angry psycho-bitch right now... so i'm gonna post them so that when this mood wears off and I am my old happy-go-lucky fabulous self, I will re-read this blog and have a laugh at how silly I was to have forgotten the many fish that remain in the sea....

-"You are a smart, cute, single girl in Chicago, there are a lot of good looking available men in Chicago, who wouldn't think twice about dating you... I mean I found your father in Chicago. You just need to go have fun being single...go have a lot of safe fun."...My StepMom
-"When one door closes another opens. But often we look so long so regretfully upon the closed door that we fail to see the one that has opened for us."...Alexander Graham Bell
-"I demolish my bridges behind me...then there is no choice but to move forward."....Firdtjof
Nansen
-"There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying things which are beyond the power of our will."... Epictetus
-"The worst thing you can try to do is cling to something that is gone, or to recreate it."...Johnette Napolitano
-"Happiness is where we find it, but rarely where we seek it."... J. Petit Senn
-"A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own."...Latin Proverb
-"Nothing can bring you peace but yourself."...Ralph Waldo Emerson

Eh...

So we will not even discuss how drunk I was yesterday....when you make the statement "I need to be drunk in the next 30 minutes!" to the group that attending my BBQ that group really really gets the job done and then some...so I guess mission accomplished....ergghh. I only vomitted twice, which was surprising given that I drank at least a half a bottle of vodka...that's a fun fact to figure out the next day...but apparently I didn't say anything stupid as I didn't talk much at all or smile apparently. Shannon informed me that I was pretty much a mute at Duffy's until we got on the dance floor, I was then full of smiles and energy...Bipolar...yup.
Anyway hangover is over and all is good in that department.
Grey's Anatomy love the show but always leaves me a little sad and blue....which would explain my current addiction to the Fray's "How to Save a Life"....
Alright time for bed as I am goin in early tomorrow for work...bonus being leaving early...so yay.

How to Save a Life- The Fray
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through

Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence

Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed

He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

My Dad, Shannon and I at Fogo de Chao....we ate a few cows that late Tuesday Night...gotta love those 5 course "congrats for passing the Boards" dinners....keep 'em coming! 

No Me Gustan Lunes'

I don't know why I hate Monday's but I do. I am always in a bad mood. The morning always starts with about 3 hits of the snooze and this morning to make it a bit more fun a migraine...and not just any migraine but the allergy-induced, pulsating, nausea-creating, light-headed, someone please shoot me in my head to relieve the pain sorta migraine. So with this migraine I decide to drive to work...sure I had to pull over a few times, but I made it eventually. Thank God it wasn't one of the all-dayers; the worst part of the headache was gone by 1pm and I was just left with this residual pressure and lethargy.

Most Monday's I end up eating an gluttonous amount of sushi and buying either an excessive amount of DVD's or shoes or both...depending on just how bad the Monday is. I am happy to say that I was good (shopping and sushi-wise) this Monday if for no other reason than I immediately konked-out upon taking a good dose of Benadryl once I got home.

Soooo yeahhh anyway.

Tried raw oysters for the first time on Sunday...once you get over the slimy thing in your mouth, quite a good little snack. I also had some king crab legs, dungeness crab, lump crab cake, 2 mojitos, some scallops, coconut shrimp, lobster bisque, and a good portion of key lime pie, lemon cheesecake, and creme brulee (which I officially do not like, 3rd times a charm)...I heart the O'Mahoney's and Shaw's Crab House. And no I don't know where all the food goes but I think I have a good idea....the T in T and A.....cause I have no A and all the food in the world does not seem to help out the A.....riiiiight...

Before meeting the O's yesterday for an early dinner, I stopped over at Woodfield Mall and made a few purchases...White Jacket from Armani Exchange, Black Short-Sleeve Jacket-Shirt type thing from Rampage....thank goodness it was time to leave by the time I got to H & M...I have a problem...not really a problem but seriously the shopping must stop!...I didn't shop nearly as much last week...granted I did consume a bit more Vodka...6 of one half dozen of another :-)

Anyway, I can't sleep and I've already taken a walk. I have a throat-ache. My mind won't stop thinking....and wait...yup my Honey Lemon Chamomile/Green Tea is cold......Somebody's Got a Case of the Mondays.

Time to pop in a DVD and hope for the best...
Is it Friday yet?