I Danced Like No One Was Watching

Generally my reaction to stressful events is to, in no particular order, get angry, cry, get drunk, shop excessively, lounge in pajamas for days, lose my apetite, suffer from insomnia, making out with a few randoms, cry again, and then give up.
I was proud of myself for not getting drunk and making out with a random boy at the Cubby Bear last night. I sucked it up had a few drinks and sang and danced. Any time I wanted to burst into tears I just sang louder and danced more. I was further proud of myself for deciding that my 2am shower was the final time I was going to cry about this current situation (so far pretty good). Those of importance already know what the current situation is and therefore it does not need to be defined.
I did not stay in bed all day and curl into a ball a crying, hyperventilating, food deprived mess. I got up, though I did not want to, and I got dressed and although I did shop excessively and eat gelato (it is unreasonable to think that one could control all of their primary stress reactions) I did not cry, though I wanted to for 90% of the day.
I talked to my step-mom and my roommate and my dad and tried to make some decisions about what to do next....all parties involved gave the same advice, advice which I didn't want to hear but I figured I obviously don't know what the hell i'm doing so might as well get some help.
I hate feeling like this, i'm tired of feeling like this but i'm also quite helpless as to what to do next which is such a ridiculous place for me to be. I used to be quite the strong girl, but I think that I must have allowed myself to be taken advantaged of one too many times in the past and what is left is this pathetic thing that I have become. I don't want to become one of those bitter girls that says I hate love and fuck boys blah blah blah but I can currently understand the thought process. I just don't know where I went, but I hope I return soon I don't think my liver can take much more.
It also appears that I will not be able to avoid the insomnia portion of the evening.
I don't even know what I'm saying anymore, but anything is better than staring at the walls in my room and I don't think a walk would be a safe idea. I know it's not the end of the world...I'm just saying that right now it feels like it. And it is quite easy to say "just be happy" it is quite another thing to pull it off.
So I looked up some "inspirational quotes" which I don't currently find inspirational but that's only cause I'm a bitter sad and angry psycho-bitch right now... so i'm gonna post them so that when this mood wears off and I am my old happy-go-lucky fabulous self, I will re-read this blog and have a laugh at how silly I was to have forgotten the many fish that remain in the sea....

-"You are a smart, cute, single girl in Chicago, there are a lot of good looking available men in Chicago, who wouldn't think twice about dating you... I mean I found your father in Chicago. You just need to go have fun being single...go have a lot of safe fun."...My StepMom
-"When one door closes another opens. But often we look so long so regretfully upon the closed door that we fail to see the one that has opened for us."...Alexander Graham Bell
-"I demolish my bridges behind me...then there is no choice but to move forward."....Firdtjof
Nansen
-"There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying things which are beyond the power of our will."... Epictetus
-"The worst thing you can try to do is cling to something that is gone, or to recreate it."...Johnette Napolitano
-"Happiness is where we find it, but rarely where we seek it."... J. Petit Senn
-"A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own."...Latin Proverb
-"Nothing can bring you peace but yourself."...Ralph Waldo Emerson