Hit that nail on the head why don't ya....

So for starters it sucks having this huge thing to celebrate but no one to celebrate it with....put a little cloud over my "I passed the boards with flying colors rainbow"...It sucked. I got this great news and just hung out by myself watching Capote....seriously not a fan of flying solo anymore.
That being said, I was in a bit of a melancholy yet "at least you passed" sorta mood all day and talked to Kraus when I got home from work about many number of things but more importantly me and relationships and why I seem to go after the wrong ones and never know when to let go. I always seem to blame everything on my mom and though she is dysfunctional I never really thought that there could be some dad factors as well...which Kraus pointed out. I never considered underlying dad issues as a problem because I didnt really grow up with him so what's the problem...my dad was not readily available to me when I was young but I always loved him soo much, this man I never really really knew until recently and who I still love adore but...here's the points that Kraus brought up-
"if your relationships tend to be dysfunctional, it would tend to be the relationship you had with your father, not your mother."....hmm okay I'm listening

"would say most people let people walk all over them."....nuh-uh not me....

"kept giving the worlds biggest assholes extra chances for whatever reason. doesnt make sense."

And here's that big ole NAIL-

"guys that are sort of distant... or whatever. Are maybe attractive to you?".......

Now any suggestions on fixing this here problem? I have the mom issues fixed (as much as can be expect).. dammit whole new bag of worms....