This is not my week...granted it is only Wednesday

I would venture to say that this is by far one of the more stressful time periods in my life. Just moved to a new city (which I love), started a new job (which I love) I have a roomie again (who I love, but it is always a transformation going from no roomie to roomie) studying for the board exams which are in 13 days (which I am deathly afraid of)having some boy issues (which I can't fix and has a 50/50 chance of ending badly) I can't sleep (hence why i've been up since 2 am trying to fall back asleep and it's now 4) my stomach hurts 75% of the day (which can no longer be associated to copious amounts of hot foods as I gave hot food up for Lent, but may be due to the lack of sleep, studying and boy issues) and the icing on the cake is despite the fact that I erased Nate's number from my phone 2 months ago this did not really erase him...and since I erased the number, I also did not know that it was him calling me at 3:30, as I never memorized his number....so needless to say, there's no way I'm falling asleep now. I feel like a clinically insane person right now and it's like some wierd accomplishment if I actually go 24 hours without crying or byperventilating or getting a pulsing debilitating headache...all things which inhibit studying which in turn make me more stressed leads to no sleeping yadda yadda ya, vicious cycle. The only thing that I can control in this list of stressors is the Nate factor...I have to get my number changed...which sucks because I've had that phone number since I was like 18, I like the number, everybody knows it...but a Chicago number wont be so terrible and anything is better than having the conversation I just had.....here's a bit of a summary:

"Amber, is that you?"
"Well Nate you called me so I assume that yes it is in fact me."
"I can't believe you are still awake and that you answered, wow isn't like late in Chicago it's like 1:30 there right?"
"No Nate it's like 3:30."
"Woah, then it's like 12:30 here."
"No it's like 1:30 there...because California is 2 hours behind Chicago."
"Well I'm just calling to see if you are sober?"
"Of course I'm sober, why wouldnt I be sober?"
"Well you have been known to drink Amber, it wouldnt be a wierd thing that you were drunk." "Well are you sober Nate?"
"Well I'm not drunk if that's what you mean."
"Well you don't sound sober that's for sure."
"You don't know what I sound like drunk."
"Oh yes, actually I do, I am very well aware, and you are slurring the ends of all your words." "Well I had a few drinks earlier today, but I'm not drunk, I havent had any drinks since this afternoon, I'm just out late because I had to drive people home..it's not my fault, I was dragged out really."
"Right, it's never your fault Nate, sure you're slurring your words from drinks this afternoon, makes sense...I thought you didnt drink anymore?"
"I don't drink anymore, I only drank today because some Marines, my Marines, are going to Iraq tomorrow and they were like Lt. Cokley come drink with us..I mean what am I supposed to do in that situation, tell them no, or go out and drink a fucking glass of ice water Amber...I don't think so...so I had few drinks with them."
"What you are supposed to say is 'I'm sorry, I can't, because I'm a raging alcoholic.' And you say this was this afternoon? You work in the afternoon?"
"Well no, it was this evening, I may have had a few shots while I was waiting to pick up some people, I'm like 95% sober though."
"So you are drunk driving?"
"Nooo."
"So when are you getting married?"
"Why did you have to bring that up?"
"Because as I recall you promised your fiance that you wouldnt talk to any of your ex-gf's and I definately qualify."
"Well I know, and I'm breaking that promise but I'm not getting married for another 2-3 months...there's all this planning, because the wedding is in Mexico...our wedding was going to be in Mexico, remember?"
"No Nate, I don't remember, as I don't think about these things."
"Well I just wanted to call and say that I love you and that I miss you and I hope all is well in Chicago and that you are happy, because you deserve to be happy, because you are beautiful and smart. Amber you are so smart and beautiful and self-sufficient."
"Self-sufficient?"
"Yes, if you ever need me just call because I am here for you and I love you, not that you will because you are so self-sufficient, you aren't one of those needy girls, that's one of the things I love about you. I don't know the last time you called me."
"That would be about 1.5 years ago Nate, because we broke up and you're an asshole remember."
"I know, but I've changed and I love you and I love your family..I love your dad and your whatya call it..step-mom and your little cousins Jalen and Jasmine."
"They are my sisters Nate, not my cousins."
"They are your sisters?"
"Yes as they are the children of my father."
"Oh yeah, well I love them too and I miss them too, that Jalen really like me and your Dad likes me too,I know that's important to you. I hope all your family that I met is doing well and even the crazy ones, I hope everything is great with them to. And I hope they know I still love you and I would do anything for you."
"Who are you marrying, you never said?"
"Amber I don't want to answer that question." "
Well i'm offended for your fiance, is it Laurie, or Blanka, or maybe the stripper, or the other Blanca, or some Mexican chick?"
"Ella es una Espanola."
"So Blanka, Blanca or Laurie?"
"Laurie...no you think that crazy Argentinian would come here to marry me?"
"I don't think about anything in regard to you Nate, however, I do believe someone would have to be crazy to marry you, so she's a good candidate."
"She's in med school in Mexico." "So Blanka?"
"Amber I don't want to answer these questions."
"Well I don't particularly want to talk to you, but I'm on the phone right now so answer the questions or leave me alone."
"It's none of those girls, just some Mexican."
"Just some Mexican...you refer to your fiance as 'just some Mexican', you said she was Spanish...Spain and Mexico are not the same."
"Well to my parents it's all the same."
"I don't really want to talk about this Amber. I love you and we have both moved on, I'm sure you have and so I'm getting married but I still love you."
"Well that's healthy, lucky her."
"Well I love you because, well who wouldn't love you, you are just so easy to love and I would do anything for you, you know that right...I would call of the wedding..I call her right now, do you want me to, just say the word and I'll just call you from now on and I'll un-fiance her...do you want me to break up with her?"
"No, why the hell would I want you to do that?"
"Because I still love you and you like to be loved, and I know it's hard for you to love people so if you are having problems moving on, you dont need to, because I'm here for you."
"It's not hard for me to love people Nate, I love people just fine, and I'm having no problems moving on...thanks for the concern, I am perfectly fine."
"Oh yeah, well I think you should date a British guy, because he would really get you and your like sarcasm and they like black girls because they have them in London and they are all sorta snobby, but in a cute way, like you."
"I'm not snobby."
"Oh yes you are, you are my little snob."
"I'm not your little anything Nate."
"How's John, you dating him yet. You always liked him. I doubt you even loved me."
"John's fine. No I'm not dating him. I did love you, I just don't happen to be very fond of you now as you were a lying, cheating, coke-addicted piece of shit."
"I was not addicted to coke Amber."
"Oh okay..I guess if your nose doesnt bleed on a regular basis, it's not an addiction, my bad."
"So what's John up to?"
"None of your business."
"Aren't you defensive, I'm just wondering how my old friends from SLU are?"
"He wasnt an old friend of yours from SLU, if he was, you would know what he was up to."
"Isn't he going to be a doctor or dentist or something smart like that."
"Dentist yes."
"How's that going?"....."Amber you're not talking, do you want me to let you go?"
"Yes please, stop calling me. Erase my number, forget I exist, please, go get married and leave me alone."
"Amber I could never forget you exist, I love you and I'm always here for you, say hi to Shannon and John for me, I hope you are happy in Chicago, and I love you."
"Goodbye Nate."
"I said I love you Amber."
"Yeah, I heard you."

So at this point I buried myself in blankets and tried to fall back asleep, this was the longest 20 min coversation....and of course, it didnt end there...he proceeded to call two more times, but now I recognize the number, so I didnt pick up...so instead he texts messages me this at 4:20 am "I will always wish u were her y I will always love you."......well lucky her and lucky me.

I'm so tired of hearing I love you....you don't know what love means!

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!