Sundays aren't a good day for me...

I don't know what it is about Sunday's but I'm not very good at them. I generally have good expectation for productivity...productivity in the form of going to the movies, perhaps shopping or sushi...but inevitably i get down and generally poopy and end up staying in my pj's all day watching lifetime movies or random reality television.

It could be that Sunday's used to be "family day" and I have been sans family on Sundays for quite some time. It could be that Sundays became hang out with the boyfriend in bed all day watching movies and ordering in and that I have been without the girlfriend title for awhile. Or it could simply be that I am tired of the nomadic life of the student physical therapist and I'm just ready to have someplace to call home.

I had a good time at home last weekend in St. Louis. We had a pub crawl on Friday which was fun and odd all at the same time...somehow I ended up with Krissy, her sister, and this guy Robert in a car instead of on the bus. I had invited Kraus but he was going to a wedding with a girl friend from undergrad and said he would call on Saturday. I had decided before leaving from Omaha to Stl. that if I didnt see Kraus it wouldnt be a big deal and that I was "over it". I heart denial. It is a very important survival mechanism for me. So anyway I attending my pub crawl and felt pretty and didnt worry about the Kraus situation or boys in general and as per usual fell asleep on the couch with my fake husband John Fisher....I should restate...Fisher fell asleep on my lap some time later I woke up with numb legs, asked him to reposition so that we could both fit on the couch feet-to-head, to which he made an odd noise and preceded to take over the whole couch, leaving me to fend for myself and sleep on the floor....bad husband!

So in the spirit of not being worried about guys I proceeded to make plans for Saturday. We all went over to Jamie Zerrusen-Buening's new house and "watched" the cardinal game. Being that Rachel, Eli and I had gone to the pumpkin farm earlier that day and I had a bratwurst covered in shit and followed that with carmel apples then dinner at Shannons....I had a huge stomach ache at Jamie's and fell asleep during the game. My phone rings around 11pm and it's Kraus. I am currently wearing, well essentially pj's, and I have no desire to change and get pretty. I made this clear to Kraus who said that was fine, he didnt want to go out anyway...so I make the treck from Fenton to the Loop. We watch the Royal Tennebaums and Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind and talk about the most random things like how when I lay on my stomach I'm sending out a secret code that I want a back massage...I don't know if that's true but Kraus certainly believes it to be true and I do lay on my belly alot, so I got a lot of massages that night! I was oddly and uncomfortably happy because I knew it would end as it ended before yet I didnt/couldnt leave. I just wanted to stay happy a little longer. The next day we played the "well what are your plans for the rest of the day game" for about an hour before Kraus was finally like you wanna go get something to eat....uh duh! We went to Stir Crazy which is fantastic because I always wanted to go there and the last time tried to go it was with Nate who made us leave because he said the waiter was too pushy...whole other story. So anyway, I treated as sort of an early birthday present as his 25th birthday would be on Tuesday. We talked about odd things at lunch as well such as how the portions on my plate were 2 times the size of his and how he may move to Chicago if he decides to go with anesthesiology or he may stay in Stl and become a surgeon.

We get back to his apt and it is that time when Im supposed to leave...it's the akward goodbye moment...but I really have to pee, so I go back inside and pee. I called Eli to tell her that Meg Ryan movie fest is officially on and I would be back to her apt in 20 minutes. Im not sure exactly what happened but we end up back in bed and I'm out cold for like 2 hours...bad friend, bad friend! I immediately get up and am just like well it was good seeing ya bye, Happy Birthday, good luck with the Internal Med rotation. I didnt want the awkward goodbye with that look of I'm sorry it just can't work right now. I have a handfull of relationship regrets in my life, however, despite everything, I still have no regrets where Kraus is concerned, I just don't like to think about the situation.

I find it depressing that a guy that treats me so well and makes me laugh and is a complete sarcastic ass, who my friends love is just not a possibility. And that the Kraus relationship situation is the picture in the dictionary under "bad timing".