An Odd State of Mind

I had my first patients today. It was nice yet surreal as I thought, "are you sure I can't kill a patient, oh I can, I just probably should try not too, are you sure you want me working for you?"....Gotta love self-doubt!
Where does the self-doubt come from...I'm going to go ahead and pull the mom card here...I realize there is no logical reason for me to doubt my abilities as a Physical Therapist...I graduated With Honors from a nationally recognized, top Physical Therapy program, I've gotten good reviews from all my CI's including comments..."you're going to make a great PT one day", my patients like me, etc etc...however, I think the stress of preparing for the boards, combined with family stress, combined with boy stress-really just Valentine's Day Stress... I hate that fucking Holiday, combined with "when am I gonna work out" stress, combined with my mother was in Chicago and mentioned moving here might be a good idea-stress...has resulted in self-doubt, migraines, insomnia, and recently an ulcer I think...I do not believe your stomach is meant to burn after every meal...and the stomach burning increased upon meeting up with my mom and the longer we were there the worse it got and Pepcid was not cutting it...I've have given myself a damn ulcer.
Anyway, this all being said, I'm in a odd-terrible-quasi bitchy-depressed-scared-angry mood that cannot be a good combination. I'm exhausted because I cant sleep and I'm getting not enough sleep because of the insomnia and attempt to study for 6 hours post a full days work..............I heart my life right now...it will be a little better after St. Paddy's Day...unless I feel I bombed the exam...in which case hide all sharp objects, weapons, credit cards, and liquor...oh and my car keys.
Somebody's got a case of the Mondays.......
I hope.